Do you continually find yourself back at the same point, despite all the”work” you do on yourself? If this is where you find yourself, it will be because you are stuck in a loop of a pattern of embedded emotion.
Emotion released propels us forward; embedded emotion binds us and we keep repeating our restrictive story.
Sarah carried a mountain of rage within her. Every partner that she had seems to ignite this powerful emotion. Sarah had to end these relationships after a short time as they became very destructive and damaging to all concerned. Soon, because of her need, she found another and the same story played out.
“Tell me about your early relationships?” I asked.
“When I was 19, I had this man in my life, we used to argue all the time, he would end up jumping on me, pinning me to the floor,” Sarah explained.
“How did you get free?” I asked.
“I screamed and screamed,” Sarah said, “until finally I was exhausted. Then he let me up.”
“He disempowered you Sarah,” I said. “In his mind he had a victory, and do you think that this may be where your rage stems from?”
“But that happened 20 years ago, I have let that go long ago, I am over that….” Sarah lapsed into silence.
“Are you?” I asked.
To me and to those of you reading this story, Sarah clearly still carried the hurt and rage of the injustice of that situation all those years ago. She continues to draw men into her life that tried to overpower her, repeating the same pattern. Yet she couldn’t see it.
This is how the ego works, it refuses to acknowledge the truth and it doesn’t want to change.
I looked at Sarah and saw for the first time she got it.
“It’s as if a blind has gone up,” she said, wide-eyed.
Sarah had touched the first step in her healing. She had at last acknowledged where her issue stemmed from. No amount of “moving on” could sort this.
It is not the present Sarah that has the problem with; it is the 19-year-old Sarah who still has the problem, and that is where she needs to go to heal, back to that moment where her dis-empowerment lies. A session or two of regression therapy will sort this out. Sarah will reclaim her power and she will no longer draw those men into her life that reinforce the old pattern of dishonour.
Once Sarah has released the embedded emotion carried over from her past, she will move forward. This is when the emotion is the key to freedom.
Recently I met Sally, whose bright spirit had the grey shadow of sadness lying over it.
“You have such a beautiful spirit,” I said to her. “Where does the sadness come from?”
Tears welled up in her eyes.
“I am working on it,” she said.
Sally went on to tell me that her mother hadn’t spoken to her for 10 years. Her mother was a devout Catholic and considered Sally to be in the hands of the “devil”, because Sally wouldn’t follow the religious path that the mother did.
As I listened to Sally’s story, I recalled the words of one of my wonderful mentors.
“Orthodox religious teachings are the greatest impediment to spiritual growth.”
Sally is stuck; her emotional reaction to the situation with her mother binds her. She lives a life of continually busyness and doesn’t stop, for if she did, up will come the sadness. She won’t allow herself to find the love and acceptance she craves, just in case she gets rejected again. She picks people she can keep some distance from, or situations that don’t allow her to be close to others. If love does beckon, Sally will sabotage the situation. And Sally is a strong independent self-reliant woman.
Unless she changes this inner story, she will stay emotionally stuck. She needs some help to look more deeply into the situation and find where in her past something happened that so damaged her sense of self worth, that she drew the situation with her mother to her to reinforce the fact that she does not deserve the love she craves.
In this case, emotion imprisons. Yet once it is released, it will propel Sally forward into the freedom she longs for.
As with us all, change can only happen if we desire it. The choice is ours. We all have freedom to stay imprisoned or with help to find freedom.