These are the “poor me” people. Now how often do you hear “it would only happen to me?” We become victims because we lack a sense of self-value and being a victim draws much needed attention. Victims seek to be noticed, to be important, to be special. Victims seek revenge. Consider those repressed minorities that start revolutions. Freedom fighters begin as victims.
Victims often inherit the victim pattern from their victim parents; the down trodden, the “battlers” are also all victims. Victims are trapped in their own belief system that things will always be the way they are. They are stuck trying to obtain outside themselves what they lack within.
Martyrs seek attention through gratitude. The martyr puts himself/herself down and will often succeed in creating a victim in those around them.
A classic example are those women who slave over a hot stove for hours and then when the meal is done, offer it to others.
”You folks go ahead and eat I will have something later.”
When you hear that, how bad do you feel?
Victims and martyrs search for attention because they lack self-value and they try to achieve it through either, or both, of these two avenues. We have all been there and some of us are still there. If you catch yourself falling into either or both of these, stop; it isn’t healthy. Your sense of self-value needs some help!
Students of Life:
Students of life have stopped looking at life as a battleground and see all situations as an opportunity to learn and to grow. There are no obstacles to the Student of Life. They know that they have chosen their life situation and that it is exactly as they need it to be and they know it can be changed, if the situation no longer serves them.
Some helpful hints:
1. Become aware when you play the victim and/or the martyr.
2. Attend to your self-worth issues.
3. Try look at life as a Student of Life as often as possible.
4. Count your blessings; stop looking at what you lack.